Birthday Party Guests

Perhaps you have seen the viral Facebook page of the week on the news.  There is a Happy Birthday Collin page which was created by a mom for her son who has some social challenges.  When she asked him if he wanted to have a birthday party, he replied that no, he did not want a party because he didn’t have any friends to invite.

This story really hit home to me.  Tanner’s birthday is in a couple of weeks.  I am planning a small party for him to celebrate his 18th birthday.  Typically, I only do a big party every four years on his real birthday which is February 29th!  But 18 is a big deal, so I’m doing something in between a leap party and a family only party.  As I have pondered the guest list, my priority has been to invite people that have real meaning to Tanner in his life-people that interact with him regularly.  As I looked over the list, I realized that everyone on the list is an adult.  He doesn’t have any friends that are his age.  There are probably some kids that talk to him at school, but I don’t know of anyone that has taken a sincere interest in him.  It has been my prayer for a long time for him to have a buddy.  Someone his age that would come over and hang out with him.  Maybe teach him how to play video games.  It makes me sad to make out a party list and there are no friends.

Tanner is different than Collin.  At least I think he is.  I guess I don’t really know if Tanner “knows” he doesn’t have any friends.  He is happy to do the things he likes at home.  He likes to be with us.  He certainly doesn’t participate in activities that most kids his age do.  In order to do things with Tanner, a person really has to get into his world.  You have to be persistant and force him to talk with you or do things with you.  You can’t be passive.  Most teens are too shy or unsure of how to act around Tanner, so it is often an awkward situation.

I’m grateful that Tanner has so many people that love him and accept him into their lives.  We have wonderful friends and family members that love to see him and include him in activities.  It’s just not quite the same as “peer” friends.    I’ll keep praying for someone his age to “befriend” him.  I know someday he will have an awesome friend!